It's been a while. I'm sorry that I have been remiss in my blogging responsibilities. For compensation, I shall give you #3 on the list of things that I really don't like.
#3: Giggle Talkers and Loud Sighers
Let us begin by defining the problem. What is a "giggle talker?" Anyone who works with me knows immediately what I mean by this. A giggle talker is someone that, during the course of normal conversation, giggles after every damned sentence. Whether this is a nervous or jocund laugh is irrelevant. The giggle is what pisses me off.
I have had circumstances where someone comes in to conduct business, and through the course of the conversation divulges some piece of bad, sad, or terrible news to me, and then giggles. AHHHHHH!
Here is a "dramatic interpretation" of what I'm talking about.
"Hello Ma'am, can I help you find anything today?"
"No, hehehe, I'm just looking around today hehehehe" [it is at this point that I already dislike this person for giggle talking]
"Please let me know if I can help you!"
"OK hehehehe"
**A few minutes later**
"So, you have Gutless Weasels 13: Weasels weep not. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"No hehehehe" as she lets out a small sob "I miss my weasel hehehe...he just died yesterday heheheh"
"I'm sorry to hear about this development" [I am wishing this lady dead by now].
"he was...heheh...everything to me! heheheh"
Yes, dear reader, I have had actual conversations with actual humans that actually sound like this. Do I receive this level of personal melodrama everyday, no. However, there's not a day that goes by without at least one giggle talker that comes in to ruin my day.
...which leads us to the second half of this presentation: loud sighers.
Imagine this situation....
Door chime at a random retail location goes off. The attentive store clerk looks up to greet the customer who is walking in:
"Hello, sir"
"OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....hello. OHHHHHHHHHH it's cold out there"
"Yes sir it is. Is there something I can help you with today?"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, man, I'm SO cold....OHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Sorry to hear that. What brings you in today?"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......"
You can see where this is going.
I usually don't acknowledge the loud sigh.
What would be the worst is the dreaded 1 in 1000 deadly combination of the loud sigher and the giggle talker. It happens. It happens way too often for comfort.
"Hello, sir!"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....hello hehehehehehe, its cold today heheheheheehe.....OHHHHHHHHHHH"
There are reasons that I'm not allowed to bring a trident to work with me.
E
P.S.: A preview of future topics: My favorite TV shows, My favorite movies, a new installment of "Puppy dogs and Tridents", and...I don't know. What do you want me to talk about?
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