Hi, My Name is Erich, and I'm a Communist

Everybody is a communist for some reason or another.  No, not the Marxist kind.  Let me explain....

There are things that you don't like that everybody else does--that every good true red-blooded American should like.  I'm fond of calling people communists for not liking these things.

Here's the list of the things that I know I don't like that make me a commie-pinko bastard:

1: Mickey Mouse.
Can't stand Mickey Mouse, he's always creeped me out.  Plus, growing up, I was always a Looney Tunes/ Tex Avery kid.  I don't like Disney characters, and I can only think of perhaps two or three actual "Disney" made movies that I like [Black Cauldron, Tron, Tron: Legacy being that list].

2: Football.
I don't know the last time I watched a football game.  Don't know if I have ever cared to watch a football game, either.  I think the sport is barbaric, stupid, and full of show-boating idiots who are ridiculously overpayed to do nothing.  Blech.

3: John Wayne.
There is exactly ONE John Wayne movie that I enjoy [The Longest Day if you were curious].  I don't like westerns.  Crucify me.

4: Pizza.
I just don't like pizza.  Every once is a great while I'll say to Denise "I could go for some pizza today"  she looks at me with a shocked look, then hurries to put on her coat and rush out the door before I change my mind.  I think at one point in my life I enjoyed pizza, like every kid.  However, at some point, college I think, that I just stopped liking pizza.

5: First person shooter video games.
I have this conversation every single day that I work...
"Hey man, what's the difference between Medal of Honor and Call of Duty?"
To which I respond "Unfortunately, I don't really know--I don't play shooters"
"WHAT?!?" the drooling mouth breather responds. "Don't you play games?"
I'm going to make a whole post about this, so I'm not going to ruin the thunder I have planned.  I'll just say this:  I suck at first person shooters, I don't think they are fun, so I don't play them.  Next.

6: Field of Dreams.
I like Kevin Costner.  I really do, he's some really good movies.  I like baseball, I like watching baseball, and movies about baseball [even Kevin Costner's For Love of the Game].  Why then do I LOATHE the movie "Field of Dreams?"  It's slow, it sucks, and I really don't like it.  Deal.

7: It's A Wonderful Life.
Another movie that I love.  L O A T H E.  I like Jimmy Stewart and his movies ["Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" is a classic!].  Why do I despise this movie so much?  Its a terrible movie.  TERRIBLE [at this point, I know I'm going to rot in hell for all these nasty things I'm saying...].

8:  The Wizard of Oz.
UGH.

9:  Frank Sinatra.
I just lost the rest of you didn't I?  I don't like his voice.  I like Tony Bennett and Dean Martin better.  Sinatra...not so much.

10: Bruce Springstein.
The Boss.  Who is more American than The Boss?  Can't stand him!

There's my list.  Are you scratching your head yet?  How did I lose so much of my soul as not to like these 10 things?  Don't know.  Just did.  As I said, everyone has at least one thing [Denise doesn't like Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches! WTF?!].

Why are you a communist?

Later--
E